Breast Cancer Answers Art Gallery

DANCE OF RECOVERY

Slowly,
Confused, circling,
I cradle myself for reassurance and comfort.
Stepping into the music,
Watching the others, following their steps.
Some are easy;
Others--more coordination needed.

I try them alone
And forget how.
At the end of the line,
Try to pick up the beat.
Experienced dancers go through their paces.
When certain themes surface anew,
I see that dancers sometimes stumble
Trip over old fears, and rise again.
Okay.
Encouraged, I leap through the center.
It holds--
I land feet up!
A new note of joy.
Boldly I leap.
Again and again.
I know how to do it, I think.
I think.

The magic of moving without calculation is gone.
I miss the count by counting.
Stumbling to the ground.
The music changes to "Beware."
Be aware--THERE IS A CHANGE IN THE PATTERN OF MY SYMPTOMS
I stop still.
It is a lonely twisting time.

Now I call upon my Sisters.
They move with open hands
To pull me up.
To turn me outward
To try again.

The music repeats itself,
Stronger now.
I can understand
This dance will be with interludes
For in and out.
Music playing on and on,
Embellishing its theme,
As I learn to dance the steps
And make their meaning my own.

Charcoal
© 1992, Betsy Noorzay


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