Breast Cancer Answers Art Gallery

WAITING FOR A DIAGNOSIS

September

Yesterday I was dying,
-dying of brain cancer
as I awaited the results of a CAT Scan
because of headaches,
- headaches that for two months now
come and go.
I know someone who just died of brain cancer.
Awaiting a diagnosis can seem an eternity.
Do I plan for next week, next month? or
is the future cancelled-
or at least postponed.
Do I fear death or do I fear losing life-
or the quality of life
to which I am accustomed?
Today the phone call came.
CAT Scan normal-
cause of headaches unknown.
Headaches now seem unimportant.
Cancer cells are not the cause.
Will this fear of cancer remain forever-
a curse
I relentlessly bear?

From Journey Unknown (Journey Press, 1994)
© 1994, Margaret Phalor Barnhart


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