WAITING FOR A DIAGNOSIS

September

Yesterday I was dying,
-dying of brain cancer
	as I awaited the results of a CAT Scan
	because of headaches,
	- headaches that for two months now
		come and go.
I know someone who just died of brain cancer.
Awaiting a diagnosis can seem an eternity.
Do I plan for next week, next month? or
	is the future cancelled-
	or at least postponed.
Do I fear death or do I fear losing life-
	or the quality of life
	to which I am accustomed?
Today the phone call came.
CAT Scan normal-
	cause of headaches unknown.
Headaches now seem unimportant.
Cancer cells are not the cause.
Will this fear of cancer remain forever-
	a curse
	I relentlessly bear?