ACCEPTING LIFE
September
| Two weeks before surgery | |
| and the discovery of cancer, | |
| I told a friend I figured | |
| I had lived half my life | |
| at the age of 46. | |
 | |
| Yet in the past six months, | |
| I've mentally and emotionally died | |
| three times, | |
| -when I had nosebleeds | |
| -when I coughed with bronchitis | |
| -when the headaches were severe | |
| convinced that cancer was consuming me. | |
| |
| In this last week of chemotherapy | |
| my focus has been on the word "last"- | |
| wanting guarantees. | |
| |
| Acceptance relies on reality. | |
| |
| Six months ago | |
| I told my son | |
| I didn't intend to die of cancer. | |
| |
| Six months ago | |
| with a laugh | |
| my son predicted | |
| I'd get hit by a car | |
| on the way to the doctor's | |
| for my last IV. | |
| |
| My son was wrong. | |
|
From Journey Unknown (Journey Press, 1994) |
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